Into the Wild: Finding myself in the UP

Last week I was out to lunch with a friend, reflecting on the last month and just how transformative three weeks in the UP was for me.

The waitress overheard my excited recollections and told me that this was the most excited she had ever seen ANYONE talk about Michigan.

Spending my January at what felt like the edge of the earth, was one of the best things I could’ve done for both my mental and physical health.

I truthfully can’t believe it’s over but as all good things, this experience came to an end.  That isn’t to say I didn’t take anything back home to the QC with me.

I feel renewed in my walk with faith, despite it being a constant struggle that I’m still trying to piece together.  I hold to my belief that the path I forge is mine alone, but I am guided by a higher power who wants the best for me. I feel like this trip was one I felt called to go on.  The universe knew I was carrying a lot on my mind and wanted me to find myself again.  To free myself from the chains of struggles that often weren’t my own to bear and just be able to BREATHE.

Despite the toll that the wilderness (and also Broomball) took on my body due to the physical nature of everything, I was able to appreciate that pain. Be in tune with myself and what that pain meant. Both internally and externally through my scrapes and bruises. Be in tune with my mind and the clarity that came from being so far removed from the people and places I left behind. Be able to eat 3 full meals a day and not feel so anxious about things out of my control.  Laugh until I could feel it in my belly and my eyes would crinkle.  Heal from the issues I’ve failed to process for the last few years. 

There was never a day where I wasn’t smiling.  Even on the most difficult days, I found something to be grateful for.   Whether it be a trip to Contrast coffee sing-alongs to One Direction and Noah Kahn in the van, or late night conversations.  I felt love surrounding every space.  

I found it so wonderful that I could connect so well with essentially a group of strangers turned friends. To be treated with such kindness came as a surprise to me, and for someone who often doesn’t feel that I  often get the energy I give others, I will forever be grateful to feel so respected.

I’d also gotten to write countless poems and journal entries throughout my time at camp. Ranging from a  eulogy for the fallen squirrels of Maple Lodge, re-tellings of my daily excursions or even a document full of silly out of context quotes.

I may not be the most eloquent talker but my words are my strength.  Getting to be with myself and thrive in that time where writing was easy is something that I’m really missing right now. When all you have is time to choose your adventure, writing just seemed to come more naturally.

But all these things aside, most importantly the thing I will carry with me is simply the found confidence in myself and my capabilities. Janey of “The Wild” never gave up, even when she was lost on the lake or deciding to plunge into the lake in negative degree weather!  Its the realization that if I can hike up a mountain, I will be okay.  That the world wants me to sustain and live.

I am holding onto these moments and new friends so tightly and I am looking forward to what my last few months at Augie brings me.

Thank you January for being kind in a sea of uncertainty.

*This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Augustana chapter.